Wondering what AWAS is? I bet you are! Its the name of my book! Yes you read that right my book. No it is not a book I am reading that I want to claim. It is a book that I am writing. I am not even halfway done, but I want to share the start of my journey in hopes to inspire someone else, and to re-inspire myself. AWAS was originally titled "Setting". Laugh it up I know what an original title. Well it was first titled that because that is where it started. It started as a "setting" exercise in my literature class my senior year of high school. I wanted to write about a sunrise. I drew the picture in my mind. Someone walking up a grassy hill with a crisp air blowing to watch the sunrise over the mountains. I included things such as the cold feeling of the dew on the grass, the little bit of warmth from that sun rising. I went with it, and played with a character.
I ended up having to do other writing exercise for that class, and just kept rolling with "Setting". Soon a story developed in my mind, and I fell in love with my main character. I wrote in my spare time, did character profiles, and started writing up plot twist. I was in love with the story I had created. At some point in my journey I stopped writing what I knew, and let the characters tell me their story. Call me crazy, but it is the truth. It has come to a point where I am no longer writing what I want, but what my characters want. Now that it is two years later from when I started, I have lots of hard work to show for it. I have 16,000 words, millions of scraps of papers with different things on it, family trees burned into my brain, and I constantly have something on my mind that has to do with "Setting". I have written in so many different places including Sheldon High school, my house, public parks, in the car on my way home from somewhere or on my way to California, on a lanai in Hawaii, and in Sunriver. I hope the list can keep going, and some day it will be even bigger I just know it.
Who knows if I will ever get it published, I want it to. However for now AWAS is just a dream that keeps me sane, and keeps me coming back to something I know. Sometimes when I am rereading a chapter or a paragraph it amazes me just how much I have written. Sometimes I will read something and literally laugh out loud because I think "Wow I wrote that, don't remember that but okay!" This is such a long journey. But I am so grateful for it. Its hard work, and I wished I worked harder on it!
In a year from now ask me how its going. I hope to say its finished.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
AWAS
Thursday, January 31, 2013
My PCOS Story!
My sister Alex inspired me to share my PCOS story, so here goes it.
For those of you who don't know what PCOS is here is a defination "Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female endocrine disorder, affecting approximately 5%-10% of all females. PCOS is a hormonal disorder that involves multiple organ systems within the body, and is believed to be fundamentally caused by insensitivity to the hormone insulin. It can be diagnosed in all phases of life - in girls as young as 8-9 years of age, up through post-menopause. Although PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility, the reproductive aspects of the disorder are secondary. PCOS is not limited to women of reproductive age or potential." For more information head over to this website! http://www.pcosupport.org/what-is-pcos.php
I have never been someone who was public about my period, in fact the first time I started I waited four days to tell anyone, and even then my family had to drag it out of me. So this is a stretch for me, but I want people to hear my story so it can help them. I had been having irregular periods for a while, and I didn't think anything of it. Until I saw my sisters having a hard time getting pregnant, and they were having irregular periods.
So I went to my doctor, told her what was going on. She looked at me and said no problem we will do some tests and see what happens. This started October 2010. By December of 2010 I had lots of blood work done, and I had been on my period for two months. (Yes you read that right 2 months) I went back to my doctor she said I didn't have PCOS but lets try birth control to help regulate my period, and then if things don't change we can talk about other treatment plans. The birth control she had me on caused constant migraines. So I went back to my doctor and she said it was time I go see a OB/GYN.
I agreed, and off I went to see an OB/GYN. I was scared, but I knew if this is what my doctor wanted then I would try it out. The OB/GYN took some new blood work, and had me do an ultra sound. She said that once we got my blood work, and ultra sound results back we would talk about it.
I came back, sat in the room with my mom and waited for the Doctor to come in and talk to us. She came in with my ultra sound results, and the blood work. She said "By the looks of everything I would say you do have PCOS." And this is what I thought: okay. That was it, I was just "okay" with everything. I didn't know what PCOS was, shoot I didn't really care. I didn't know what it meant. This was in February of 2011
The doctor said lets try a new birth control, and see how that goes. I agreed, and we tried another birth control. That was the last straw for me, the birth control she put me on had my scared to death. It caused things to happen that I can't explain. I decided at that moment I would never go on birth control again!
I was grateful that the OB/GYN said I had PCOS, but I wanted to go back to my pediatrician (Oops did I not tell you I was still seeing my pediatrician! Yes I went through a Ross Geller phase. But now its over) I went to my pediatrician and said "I am done with birth control.". She said we can move in a different direction, and that is when I started my battle with metformin! I say battle because if any of you have ever taken metformin you know what battle I am talking about! Lets be honest here, it gives you the trots. No going around it, its the truth! The good old TROTS! But guess what! NO migraines, NO side effects that had me scared to death, and it had me be as normal as a girl can be!
The shock of having PCOS came a year later! Even though the metformin helped, its not the cure to PCOS. So one night it hit me, and I cried. I cried a lot. I have PCOS, what does this mean? Women who have PCOS can get pregnant. But some women CAN'T. For those of you that know me well, know that I want to give birth to 4 kids, and adopt 1. I have their names picked out, and which ivy league school they are going to. So the idea that there are women out there that can't have kids, and I could be one broke my heart. I thought things like, no one will ever say "Oh Jordan he has your eyes", or "She got your bright red hair", and it made me even more sad. Yes there is adoption, and why would someone my age be thinking that far ahead need to be so scared. I was, and still am. Because I want kids in my future. So i decided now was better to address the problem, then when I was married and trying to get pregnant.
Now I am living with PCOS, and I am working towards a happier healthier me! Its a challenge, but I know my heavenly father loves me, and wants the best for me. So I am working hard! Which means taking my medication, and living a healthier life style. PCOS is not something that you can hide from if you have it.
Here is my goal: To Beat It!
Monday, June 27, 2011
A Mighty Change of Heart I know is in Me!
June 19Th, 2008 I produced a play that i wrote called "A Mighty Change of Heart". I really had no right to put that play on, because i when i was writing it i was in uncharted waters. I had never experienced a change of heart, and i wrote about. I wrote about how it made a person feel, and what they did to change. When i had never experienced it myself. Until recently i thought that to have a mighty change of heart you need to be doing bad things. When in reality that's not true. I have experienced a mighty change of heart. People have always said i had such a great spirit, and my light really shines. When in fact this is true at times. But i was hardly even doing the basics. I am laking in my personal scripture studies, and prayer. I have been questioning a lot things lately. But tonight that all changed! When i was playing a word game, and the word was Testify. Just that simple word allowed a huge change of heart in me. After then seeing that word, i remembered that Joseph Smith had died today. This day of June 27. I looked up the video a "Lamb to the Slaughter" and this feeling kept growing and growing. Then after pondering just what was sacrificed for me, i realized things needed to change. Not tomorrow, not in the morning they needed to change right now! So i then looked up the video above "Prove Me" and i have decided it is now time to prove myself to the lord. I am giving up stuff that i really should have given up on, and not even thought about, and i am changing myself! If you have ever felt a burning in your heart to change and brushed it off thinking it was going to be too hard, i challenge you to change. Have a Mighty Change of Heart! It will draw you closer to the Lord!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Take me Back to That Day...
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
How I Met Your Mother gives true Inspiration some times!!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Birthday Blow-OUT!! Woot Woot 16 things to finish being 16!!
- Wear Hair in a Lady Gaga Hair Bow!
- Wear a too-too!
- Learn to Jerk!
- Get 16 people to sign saying pink is the coolest color ever
- Sell 16 cups of lemonade for .16 cents!
- Buy .16 cents of gas!
- Eat a hamburger in 16 seconds!
- Get a 16 ounce drink from Dutch Bros!
- Catch whip cream in you mouth 16 times!
- Do the Hoedown Throw-down in the middle of a parking lot!
- Carve a pumpkin in 16 minutes!
- Karaoke!
- Was my Car in 16 seconds!
- Get my make-up done!
- make a wish over train tracks!
- Play in the EWEB fountains!
The street looks when it's just rained
There’s a glow off the pavement
Walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot
Yeah
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I’d dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless
my hands shake
I'm not usually this way but
You pull me in & I’m a little more brave
