Things that hold me Back

Wrapped Around the Fear

By: Jordan Jarvis

Spiders, monsters, and thunder

childish fears that come and go

these others seem to stay

With each time the waves hit against my body

the cold peircing it, wind blowing sand traveling

I let go i saw my little young life flash before my simple eyes.

I Screamed, i cried, i prayed

that this wouldn't be my last time seeing my mom

it wouldn't be my last time holding on to my brother

its fear now.

Embrace the fear

feel the pain wash away with each wave

it doesn't seem to leave

no matter how deep i go

11:11 make a wish

wish for the same thing everytime...Love

Hear the horn, and then its there

that light it was so bright

Europe never going

Things left unsaid

Marriage never had a husband to call my own.

All Flashed before me

We pushed through

made it so that light never hit us

the train never rolled on into us

The tears never washed away

the pain

the fear

the things that held me back

I feel as if train tracks will never seem the same

as if that ocean breeze, and building sand castle

will ever be an escape.

The Things that hold me back

the waves keep coming in and out

the trains keep rolling by

but the fears still stay inside

It seems i will be wrapped around the fear

I Know what I want!

Life is a challenge and I've always known it won't be easy, but today it just clicked to me its not going to get easy on its own! I've always known i need to push and do stuff, but when i thought it today it was different! There is something in my head saying you can do it! Its your time to shine! I am ready to get my cat back! And its not going to the person who stole it and asking for Mr.Stinkey back, the answer is much different then that! And i know the answer! I know what i need to do, and who i need to be! So were starting with a few things that i've been lacking in!!!

1.Say my prays every morning and night
2.writing in my journal everyday! My kids need to know what kinda of teenager i was!
3.Reading my scriptures everyday!
4.Working on myself!

This is my time! And i am ready for it!

Weddings!!

Well My big sister just got married in the Portland Oregon Temple!! And i am not going to lie am super jealous of this lady!! As i sat in the temple i was thinking i am so jealous that she gets to be married for time and all eternity! And she has someone who is always there to hold her hand!! This lady is super Lucky!! Someday i know that i will be married for time and all eternity, and i will have someone there to always hold my hand! Wondering how i know?! Simple answer!

Look Who caught the bouquet!

The best things that weddings bring is love!! And Surprise!! I sure do love em!! One of my favorite cousins came earlier then she was supposed to!! When i saw her i almost cried!! This girl is amazing!! I swear there is only 2 things good about Utah and that is i get tan there and Jessie freaking Smith is there!! She is so strong and so amazing, i love her talent! I almost changed my Europe fund to a Utah fund! But it didn't happen!! I will be going to see her soon though! The date I'll never tell!! =]

Were Triplets can you tell?

These 2 girls are probably the best besties i know! Haha i like that! What i just wrote yeah i like it!! Anyway they wrote me a song and i only remember a part of it but that part is the part i sing when ever i feel weak or when i need a pick me and it is

"Jordy stay the same, no never change"

I truly love them!! Thanks For the wonderful surprise! And the wonderful wedding Alex!! Time to start planning mine! Just kidding even though i caught the bouquet i will not be getting married for a 5 or 6 years =]