Why does it hurt so much to love?

I have chosen to go back to school in the fall, four months sooner then intended. Today as I held a sweet little three year old in my hands, I wondered if it was going to be worth it. 

Tears were streaming down my face as I held Henslee in my arms, and she looked into my eyes. 

Henslee: "You have tears."

Me: "I know I am crying"

Henslee: "You are sad?"

Me: "I am sad."

Henslee: "Because you don't want me?"

Me: "Sweet little girl, it is far from that."

Henslee: "I don't want you to go back to Idaho."

Me: "I don't want to go back."

After hugging her a little too tight, I wondered why it hurts so much to love. If it's such a good thing to love people, why does it make us sad? 

Either my intentions aren’t clear enough, or you are clueless; An open letter to the boy who doesn’t know I am asking him on a date.

To whom it may concern,

    I need to take some credited for this failed attempt at asking you on a date. I am in uncharted waters you see, and this is all so new to me. I thought by now you would have taken a hint, and seen that I have feelings for you. However you are either trying to keep me in the friend zone, or you are pretty clueless. Which I guess would make sense, because I did ask you on a date, and you had no idea. Which is starting to really annoy me, because we’ve been doing the same thing for two months, and I am getting a little impatient with you, and with myself. 

    Why haven’t I told you what I am feeling? I feel like that is a pretty good question, and probably should be answered. This is what is going through my head right now, I would rather keep doing what we are doing, then you find out I have feelings for you and totally change our whole dynamic. It could change our dynamic in a good way, that is true. But I can’t chance you not feeling what I am feeling. Like I said this is uncharted water for me. Not saying liking a boy is new to me, I have liked plenty of boys. However we didn’t quite get to where you and I are.

 I guess I have a question for you, where are we? Sometimes you are flirty, and we have fun when we're together. Other times you say things that make me feel like a bro, which is kind of frustrating. You say you are good listener, and you have proven this plenty of times. I am getting impatient, and want to know if you are listening now. 

Forever and Always

    The Girl with a bow in her hair.