Not all That Glitters is Gold

My deepest condolences goes out to Kate Spade's family as they go through this trying time. My family has stood in their place before, an it is not easy. Suicide is hard on everyone, not just the person who takes their life. Those left behind are heartbroken searching for answers, wondering what they could have done to make the outcome different, hoping that their loved one is truly in a better place and that they have found the peace they were looking for. Kate Spade had every worldly thing at her fingertips, and a family. What others saw was the glitter, they didn't see there was no gold underneath. 

I think that one thing that can always be taught from a time like this is prevention. Mental illness is a real epidemic, and it hurts too many people. From my own personal experience suicidal thoughts sneak their way in, and they slowly take their grasp on you. One moment I was just drifting, I had developed depression, and then I had a thought. I thought for a second it would be easy to take away all of my pain, and be free from everything. I would push the thought away, and then it would just keep coming back. Over and over again until I had a plan. At that point I knew that I needed help, because this truly wasn't what I wanted, and I was having a hard time fighting it. I made promises to my family that I wouldn't do anything, and I sought out people who wanted to listen and were there for me. (Shout out to our therapy sessions in my book arts class, you guys helped saved me) It soon became clear that I needed to fight for my life, because if I didn't I wasn't going to be the only one losing. So I did, I ran away to Utah as often as I could. I found the support that I needed, others assumed I was being selfish, and just "doing me". But what people didn't see or understand was that I was fighting to keep myself a live. Which I was ashamed for, I was also ashamed that I had depression, and a symptom of depression is feeling like you are a burden to others. Which that soon started to take over too. I was so ashamed that I just wanted to pretend it wasn't there, but that isn't an option. I eventually sought medical help, and I am still fighting. Things have been easier since I have found the tools to be successful. But others are't successful, so to all my friends whoever feel like giving up message me anytime of the day, or call the suicide hotline the number is 1-800-273-8255 .  Don't ever think of yourself as a burden, that you are too far gone, and don't ever be ashamed. Don't take yourself from this earth too soon, life is beautiful go find that beauty. Fight for it, fight for your life.